Disney's "It's a Small World" Thinking Big

Disassociated Press

Expect big changes to those little creepy figurines at Disney's "It's a Small World." According to a Disney underground insider the changes are going to be "really big." Moon Zuppa has learned through a leaky source's source that certain nationalities will be amended to "reflect the true sterotypical reality of specific identities."

For example, word is out that Jamaica will be represented by a drug dealer who sings reggae and says "Yeah, man. Cheap." The Irish will have a drunken pugilist with his fists up saying, "wanna fight?" The Italians will have a man making pizza and eating garlic shouting, "hiya doin!" The Chinese will be behind the counter of a cleaner's demanding "pay me now!" The Indians will be represented by Apu at the Quicky-Mart and his famous "thank you come again!".

The French will be laying down their weapons and on their backs making love. The Jews and Scots will showcase two people fighting over a "quarter" found on the floor. The Arabs will have little kids running around with dynamite strapped to their waists.

Despite this, not all communities are pleased.The Polish and Ukranians have filed a grievance to Disney asking why they were not selected. A Disney spokesperson apologized for the sleight and said they are presently working on something that involves "Polish jokes and potatoes. I kinda like the one of the Polish swimmer who can't swim. So he drowns."

"We are covering all angles. We have asked our thinkers to also consider Germans and Scandanavians. Though it is excessively hard to deal with such boring identities."

Moon Zuppa salutes this effort. It's an ambitious project and may all the colours of the world bleed into one red mess.