Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Guest Writer

Occasionally Moon Zuppa likes to invite an aspiring journalist who has no hope in life to write for us. It makes us laugh and it makes the person feel better about their horribly pointless life.

Living Among the Cripples

By: Herbert Beaudette

When I was given the chance to write for a magazine I leapt for joy. I didn't care what I wrote about or for whom. I just want to express myself. To maybe change the life of some poor sap. Of some stupid kid sitting in a desk somewhere staring out of a class window. I want to reach that kid. Boy or girl. Straight or gay. Black or white. Asian or normal. Cripple or normal. It doesn't mater much to me.

The editor of the magazine was a sweet lady. So young and full of love for God's creatures. She wore a questionable outfit. Her colour coordination was way off. She looked mighty idiotic. How was she supposed to entice me into banging her?

Now, you might being saying to yourself 'how can he be writing about a family magazine out to help the less fortunate by writing like this? Hey, it's my piece. I want what I want. I write what I want. I want what I write. Capeesh?

Anyway, the fucking girl did not want to shut-up. I could not get a word in. I had no idea what she wanted from me. I had all these fucking retards around me with an aossrtment of conditions and an editor who could and would not shut her trap.

I tune out and wondered what would be a good way to shut her trap. Like that freak in the Twilight Zone who shut people up by sewing their mouths shut. But I have no such powers so I fantasized about other means. I imagined myself smashing a can on her face. Or possibly punching her straight on her teeth. What about just ripping her top off? I know for sure my cock would cork her just fine.

I decided against it. Somehow I did not think it would work. I got my assignment. I'm looking forward to it.

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