Violence at Old Folks Home Perplexes Band

Disassociated Press

Deerfield, Florida - "This was by far our most violent encounter with fans," lead singer of the New York Dolls David Johansen said following the fiasco. "Yeah, it was like fucking wapred man. Canes were swinging. Wheelchairs spiralling out of control with no one in them. It was like an Edgar fucking Poe novel," added guitarist Johnny Thunders. It seems the problem started when those in attendance began to shout out requests. "They were, like, asking for Judy Collins and Judy Garland. So we ripped into our version of 'Somewhere over the rainbow'," Sylvain Sylvain recounted. "It was all down hill from there."

24 old people were arrested for disturbing the peace in this quiet condo town. Many were hurling expletive compacted words at the band. "We don't know what got into them," Dr. Pissarella told Moon Zuppa. "As far as we can tell they all had their hot milk and went to the bathroom before the show started."

"It was not nice of them. We've changed. Why can't they? It's like we all have a personality crisis now," Johansen confided in a tender moment of pontification. "We're not the same hams last seen in 1973 dressed like freakish little girls. We're about peace and love now." "It's all about that now," Thunders continued finishing Johansen's sentence while comforting his friend as they both stared out the window while staffers rounded up the elderly gone mad.