Elections in Canada and the U.S. Straining Airline Industry, Travel Agents Enjoying Boom

George W. Bush and Stephen Harper are the best thing to happen to the Airline and Travel industries. So says Pat Laffy a political commentator. While Travel Agents are welcoming a spike in their business, the Airline industry is struggling to keep up. "We're stressed. We're not sure who's a terrorist anymore. Profiling of any kind has become a moot point" explained Jimmy Dinomite CEO of Not-So-American Airlines. "I give up."

Why the sudden increase? It turns out people threatened to move all over the place if either Bush or Harper were elected. "In Canada, Canadians promised to move inter-provincially. Canadians are more cautious that way. But in the U.S., American celebrities wanted to go to Canada. But when Harper was elected they all bought tickets out of there and went to Italy. However, Italy has a convoluted coalition conservative leader and so they came back to the United States and are now looking to go to Mexico or Haiti," travel expert Dora-Jean Pipple told Moon Zuppa.

Charlie MacGregor, a 22-year veteran at Air Canuck remarked that, "It has put a lot of stress on many people. Celebrities are notoriously fickle narcissists who demand a lot, eh?" When asked if he's ever seen anything like it he said, "Nothing like this, eh. And I've seen some mad drunk hockey players from Saskatchewan in my day, eh? So I know what I'm talking aboot."

Airline officials have assured people that they have innovative and timely measures in place to deal with the unexpected added traffic flow. "We'll just add planes," one person who chose to remain anonymous mentioned.

With the Conservatives and Republicans in power, travelers will be careful as to avoid blue places for the next little while "I'm not going anywhere near those rabid lying social nihilists," Hilary Clinton told Moon Zuppa. "Yeah, I hear they wear bear hats and play with the skulls of dead rabbits they kill with their bare hands," opined Jack Layton.

"It really is sad," Susan Sarandon was quoted as saying. "It's like really affecting my travel plans to go and meet one of the Trudeau boys. I forget which one. I think the one who liked Castro is dead. I guess I'll just have to live with it. I mean, that's what freedom is all about, right?" Ann Coulter for her part let her thoughts be known "Let them all go. Bunch of treasonous white trash scum. Canada is a haven for our draft dodging cowards. I hope their private jets get hijacked by Saudi terrorists. It will be the only service they provide this Republic."

It seems that these two nations are not only divided along political lines but travel ones as well. No one knows for sure how long this will last. It may be best if North Americans brace themselves for a long one-week as attention spans shift.