Friday, January 22, 2010

Sucking Cocks For Haiti

Disassociated Press- 

On the heels of George Clooney hosting a star-studded telethon to raise funds to help Haiti, porn stars have bonded together to do their part. "We're sucking cocks for Haiti," Monica Sweetheart told a dick hardened Moon Zuppa rookie reporter named "Phil." Sweetheart, and she sure is, put in a call to a few of her slut bunnies including Claudia Rossi and Eva Angelina after seeing the devastation on the news. "I was working and the scene was fucking from behind so I had a good view of the TV. I couldn't believe what I saw. Once the load finished dripping on me, I decided to do something about it."

What a gal. We need more porn stars like her. For every cock sucked, $1 dollar will be sent to the local Red Cross. And how do they feel about it? "Hey, at this point, the more the merrier. Like an orgy, you know?" explained one aid worker. Another chimed in. "Look, roughly 80% of the cash gets skimmed anyway so when we say we need, say, $100 000, it really means $180 000. It's nice that all segments of the population are coming through to help make up for the corruption."

"I don't think about stuff like that," Sweetheart, and she sure is, said. "If I do, it can really get in the way. I just want to get to as many penises as I can. I may even have a whole new career on my hand. Imagine that. A humanitarian whore! Wow. I, mean, it'll totally mainstream porn once and for all."

And soon they'll be winning Oscars.

Porn Stars For Haiti estimate they'll raise about $201.78.

We don't know how they calculated the .78 cents.  

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