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"I always knew that kid was juiced" one parent shouted as police escorted a spelling bee icon into the courthouse following a massive, but tastefully executed, steroid raid in an Ontario trailer park.
Pinjib Darry, while spelling everything in site, was taken into custody today. What led investigators to Darry was the confession by the main suspect in the bust Les Timwither. Timwither claimed the drugs were destined for six NFL, MLB and NHL teams and one box for "one spelling bee dude".
"He never called it in. I doubt he even knows he's been taking them. His mother is one whacked out chick. Good in the sack though. That Karma Sootra shit really moves my dick".
Organizers and fans alike began to suspect things were off with Darry when the 13 year-olds voice suddenly began to sound like Barry White and constantly flexed muscles after each correctly spelled word.
"Darry is the greatest speller in history. He's won 34 straight spelling bees in six different langauages" Melinda Mofo explained to Moon Zuppa.
She added, "there's certainly a debate about whether we should erase the record books where Darry is concerned. Too bad. He was a hero to us. Like Barbaro."
"Barbaro could spell"? Moon Zuppa innocently asked. We were then shown the door. "I will not tolerate insolence towards Barbs".
Darry's court appearance will be tomorrow morning where he's expected to plead "not innocent".
This is Moon Zuppa reporting.
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