Disassociated Press -
Turns out Hugo 'I'm not a cheap Eastern European car' Chavez is not who we all thought he was. A hero to the blameless and downtrodden, Mr. Chavez is a charming international political superstar we all have come to love, trust and respect like a taco.
At the recent conference where the 3rd annual 'Tin Pot Nations with Oil' gathered, Chavez got up and revealed his identity. "Yes. The rumours are true. I am the Spanish speaking Darth Vader and George W. Boosh is my son." The shocking revelation sent Arab terrorists, North Koreans and Iranians alike into normal confusion. "From the mother-in-law ship I plan to control the world's shittiest and most pointless countries. Prevent me you may try. Putrid your attempts shall be! You will all sway under my command from now. Release the Storm Troopers!"
There you have it. You heard it hear first.
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