Parliament is Introduced New Bill by Noble NDP

Disassociated Press -

Ottawa - On the steps of Parliament Hill Moon Zuppa could hear the motion for a new bill put forth by the New Democratic Party. Just to make sure our ear drums were functional we managed to speak to some NDP representatives. "We are a humble folk. A kind folk. We are also very noble. That is why we have demanded this bill be accepted by the sitting government. You heard correctly," an NDP spokesfreak confirmed with MZuppa.

The proposal is an intriguing one. "We feel that in order to make reparations for slavery and unholy conquerings blacks and natives should be allowed to have whites as slaves. It's the only way to quell the white man's arrogant burden," Jack Layton screamed from a window in the Parliament building.

Moon Zuppa shouted back and asked if the NDP were going to be enslaved. Mr. Layton laughed hardily and said, "Fat chance!" We then hollered back, "Isn't saying 'fat' not politically correct?" Layton rolled his eyes, "You guys don't get it. The government doesn't get it. This interview is over!"

Once the alcohol wore off, Jack Layton apologized and said that his words were taken out of context. However, his state of mind continues to baffle insiders as he closed by saying, "That's what happens when your border is too close to America. One minute you're asking for apple pie made with red apples the next thing you know it's made with yellow apples. Where's my butler? Where's Benson?"