Classic Games Offer New Ideas to Reflect Times

Disassociated Press -

A new take on a classic boardgame is set to launch soon.

We've all screamed and cried 'You've sunk my Battle Ship!" But times have been hard for the makers of the game. "It's a daring concept we know but sales have sunk - excuse the pun."

So what's the big idea? "We've decided to arm the ships with actual bombs. Nothing exaggerated. Just enough to make a point," a marketing exec told Moon Zuppa. Apparently studies have shown that customers no longer appreciate plastic toys. They want state of the art weaponry to accompany their games. As one client put it "Dammit, I'm paying for it and that's what I want! Some Tommy Guns wouldn't be a bad idea, either. But all these left-wing, bleeding heart pinkos won't allow it. It's my money!"

Needless to say, executives were pleased with the market studies. "We think there'll be an explosion in sales. We're pretty aggressively happy about this."

As a result of this innovation, 'Operation' is including a live human for every game they sell. "We feel there is a doctor deficit in the world and this is a way for us to somehow help out. We have some legal and insurance issues to iron out but all in all we have many suicidal candidates that are willing to do this. The game may inspire some kids to go into medicine," an anonymous CEO with the company explained over the phone. "We may also increase the voltage on the board. It will entice and encourage people to ensure a steady hand."

We'll let you know, gulp, what 'Risk' decides.