Moon Zuppa Goes Undercover

As part of a 45 part series, Moon Zuppa reporters will be walking the streets of this town for no partiuclar reason. What will they find? Who knows? But one thing is for sure - Moon Zuppa will get the scoop.

DAY 1

I used a napkin as a mask and made my way into a local dinery. It was an unfamiliar site as lobsters roamed among the people and women had their heads covered with some kind of scarf. "Hey!" I shouted to get the attention of one woman, "what's with the excess material around your head?" She replied "it is a symbol of my religion." As she prepared to say more her husband told me to leave. "Can't she speak to another man?" I ask in a threateningly cowardly voice. "No!" I left the terrorist eatery and turned to my right. I ended up in an area that did not have any white folk. I felt alone and lost. I could not orient my senses. The sounds of children hitting some animal constructed of paper-marché blurred my vision. Suddenly, candies began to fall like shit from my ass. I lunge forward fighting through several half-starved illegals to get my share. "Where are the Skittles! Damn you, immigrants!"

My day ended with me taking in a room at a motel just outside the city. "Fi dolla." "Um, excuse me?" "Fi dolla! FI DOLLA PIG!" "Pig? No, I don't need a pig. I need a room. A ROOM, rice boy." I pay the dog eater and head to an enclosed part of the building. I fluff up my pillow and pick my nose. I make an indiscreet call. It's going to be a long one.