Man Wants to be First Human to Integrate Technology into Body

Disassociated Press - Wyoming

Matt Labby finds life too difficult to keep up with these days. "All these inventions were meant to make my life easier. Instead it's made it more chaotic and confusing. I feel like Oliver Twist in the middle of my own industrial revolution. I spend way too much money on initial start up costs and subsequent purchases to maintain the demand to remain current." So what's his solution? "I want to be a Robo-Man prototype. I would like for doctors to integrate my iPod, MP3, cell phone, digital camera and Sony walkman (for sentimental reasons) into my body. That way I won't have to carry them with me. This has been a great nuisance for me." To date, three doctors have stepped up to offer their services for free. Mr. Labby has yet to make his decision. He is also contemplating adding a DVD to his repetoire. "I'll be a self-sustaining entertainment unit. Everyone will want to be my friend." And therein lies in the truth according to this semi-dimwitted Moon Zuppa amanuensis.