Autopsy Of Man Accused Of Having Shit for Brains Reveals Startling Truth

Disassociated Press-

Wilma, Alberta - It took but mere seconds for the smell to over power and consume the room. "I began to saw off his head and this repugnant whiff hit me like a brick,' explains Chief Coroner Cornelius Sapp. "I haven't smelled something so vile since my wife's last fart this morning. I couldn't eat my bran flakes it was so foul. I called her a slut. She called me a scrotumized reject. I feel bad."

A man who was thought to have shit for brains died early last week. Cause of death remains mysteriously unknown. Toby Taylor Tyler was a known racist and excellent interior decorator. "He just knew how to deliriously pick colours," a calm shocked neighbour told MZuppa. "I can't believe something like this can happen to someone so vocally quiet. Indeed to somebody with such an upstanding and outright homo job. So he called me his 'l'il Slave' and 'darkie.' It didn't bother me much I guess," another neighbour admitted.

Imagine doctors and scientists over at the Crime Lab when they discovered that Mr. Tyler was really born with shit for brains. "It defined his brain. The stains were permanent. There peanuts and peas eveyrwhere. I don't know how he was able to hold such an artistic job for so long. Maybe it's a form of autism," an evidently perplexed Dr.Sapp gently whispered into MZuppa ears.

Be careful who you call shit for brains. It may very well be true.