Pacifist Military Organization Applies to NATO

Moon Zuppa has just learned that the World Peacenik Outfit (WPO) has decided to take up arms. "We've decided the best way to get peace is by drawing blood. We are aware that this is a shift in policy," the leader of WPO Jack Jallopy was quoted as saying on Friday. Some welcomed the move with open arms. "It's great. Can I put my arms down now?" was how one WPO supporter put it. Others were not impressed. Another member who chose not to be identified but wanted to be called Po Po said,"Man, this is, like, worse than finding out, er, that Paul McCartney has been alive - ALIVE! - all these years."

The move is part of an overall strategy to 'dewomanify' the pacifist movement. "Maybe there is some truth to this 'man is becoming too girly thing.' We need to be tougher," Mr.Jallopy confided while flexing his tiny, soft muscles. This explains, in part, why they settled on 'The Songs of Rolland' as their rallying march. "We do feel we are on a crusade. A crusade to bring peace."

In matters of finance, the WPO does not have a budget and its military expenditure will be on par with Iceland and slightly below Canada's. According to military analyst for WPO General Kemumba Lafitte "Canada is our model. We hope to get enough Ross rifles to supply a whole unit of 4."

Cynics wonder if all this is just another example of how things are changing for the worse. One such person is Robby Rotty who believes that this is all part of a Stonecutters right-wing-fin ploy. "The CIA has been foreshadowing for years in various rock albums that they were out to get us." Legend has it that the last time the CIA - in a joint effort with the FBI and Publix - sent a subliminal message was in a record by 'The Police.' "If you listen closely to 'Message in a Bottle' you can hear in the background...'we're coming to kill the faggy WPO and its members and all their pets.' I swear it's true."

NATO is presently reviewing their appplication and last we heard NATO was impressed with WPO's committment to fight. "Lord knows we can use some of that in our alliance," lamented a Walloon officer eating a waffle.