Marbury Plots His Next Career Move

Disassociated Press -

Moon Zuppa thinks Stephon Marbury is a worldly individual. A successful, cocky businessman and athlete, the world's greatest shyster has big plans and the truth about his interest in Italy.

"I's got to git me to I-taly! Damn, those I-talians!"

Marbury, 31, is convinced he knows how to turn copper into gold and the only place to do it is in Europe. "Wees too ignorance here. I gots to git to Yourup. There, I can dupe me some king or sumting. Once the Knicks contract is up I's got to find me a new sugardaddy, you hear me bitch?"

When asked (by us. Moon Zuppa) if he ever plans to actually play basketball and stop dicking around Stephon offered a philosophical thought, "Is it so wrong to get a million dollar contract even though I didn't ask for it? I mean, so I bounce a ball up and down a court. I never bothered nobody. Nobody! I didn't create what I've become. It was them. It was the establishment. Stephon is misunderstood, you know? But I's a hot damn good bizness man!"

No, we don't. He may be known as Shysterbury to some but he's in the process of becoming Mar-Burying his credibility and life.