Prime President Obama Plans Military Invasion Of Insurance Companies

Disassociated Press - 

President Obama has just announced a military take over of all insurance company operations across the land. "I've had it with these cocksuckers. Even though our bill does nothing to fix any problems and will cost a mint to operate, I still think the insurance industry is at the root of all our medical evils. So I alone decided it was time to bring back the draft and destroy them by military force. I didn't want it to come to this but they left me no choice. Bang, bang! By the way, it won't cost a dime to do this. We're just going to take the money from, erm, yeah, the education department that way it will be deficit-neutral. Long live Sycacuse!"

No time table was given about when this armed attack will take place but Press Secretary Robert Gibbs - still wearing a Team Canada hockey jersey, "I love maple leafs. It soothes me. I love when they get crisp and I crack them." - said the government is using the insurance industry as a rough draft for attacking "those moronians from I-ran."

There you have it. Moon Zuppa will be on this story like a porn star on a cock. We promise.